Fung My Shui ...

After reading the headline, either you are laughing already, or you didn't get the joke. The headline is mimicking the often used phrase Kxxx My Axx.

I know I will offend and ridicule a lot of readers, especially for an Asia based blog. I did my fair share of introspection into FS in the past, and found that most of the bs is bs, and some of the sounder ideas were basically common sense. Digging deeper, FS only took on a new life over the last 100 years or so, sort of something that was invented due to necessity, a lot like accounting. The only record of FS and its application a few hundred years ago was due to being used to position burial sites. Somehow, that grew in the number of bull shitters into various tangents, with the appearance of different schools of thought. FS in particular is easy to flourish in the Chinese culture because there is no need for verification. Almost everything is based on presumptions, inventions and airy fairy stuff. If there was no compass, I think all FS masters would not exist. You can then extend the compass into a more complex lo pan, how... just name the quadrants and spaces with innovative ideas.

What's the deal with various animal years? How did fan tai shui came about? Did anybody care to check? 99% of ideas are from hearsay, from white bearded gurus, mostly self proclaiming proselytizers, mainly self-promoters. Many would be effective politicians as the better ones are usually charismatic, good oraters and persuasive snake charmers - not exactly a benchmark for solid stuff. Successful FS masters would also probably succeed in the political field or as a management consultant - all able to turn bs into a fine art.

FS easily flourished in a Chinese culture because the culture accepts almost everything that comes along the way, especially things handed down from generations past, with no questioning of the validity side of things. You can have many gods, demi-gods, semi-gods, super duper dead heroes being elevated to sainthood, purveyors of various areas of business sectors, and even every section of the house - who is to know that they dissect the otherworld and spiritual world into such compact and organised structure. C'mon, they do a much better job than Lord of The Rings or Harry Potter, but they are mainly fiction.

FS also succeeds in Chinese culture because there is really a very vague understanding of after life - anything goes. There is no main god and religion is wishy-washy. Taosim is neither here nor there. The culture can accept bits of Taoism, multi level gods and bits of Buddhism without ever anyone questioning why. All cultures will try to explain their fate and destiny. When there is no strong religion as a backdrop, cultural ways dominate. Nobody likes to take PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY for their actions - they all want to evade bad luck and put failures or bad experiences down to other reasons other than themselves. FS serves that purpose very nicely. You did not lose that job because there was no water feature in your East area of your office - you probably fucked up, but that is much harder to swallow. When you want to ascribe things to blame on or rely on the supernatural to move ahead in life, you are unlikely to experience personal growth and probably lack application in life - don't be a lazy whiny bastard.

FS masters also know how to protect theselves to explain the unanswerables. They often cite the "grand rule": yat mange, yee wharn, sarm fung shui ... or loosely translated: number one is llife destiny you are born with, number two is the luck you are born with, then number three fung shui ... Which means if your life does not improve even after doing this and that according to fung shui, well tough-titties. What a wonderful thing to be involved in, no one can say you got it wrong. People who seek out FS tend to be at wit's end in coming terms with their problems: be it financial problems, bad bosses, career stagnating, argumentative household, philandering husbands, back-stabbing friends, etc. Well, we need to deal with the problems straight up: lose your a-hole friends, geld your husband (he's a prick), move to a new job, examine your effective contribution in your work, communicate with your family members better (be a friend not only a parent), etc. These common problems are a result of more deep-seated issues which some of us are unwilling to face up to or try to solve.

People will cite the Lamborghini with the good luck number plate, and cite the huge sums rich people dole out for FS readings. Errr ..., they had to build their wealth first ... I don't think there was a tycoon who got rich by positioning a fucking water feature in their garden, and said the rest was history!!! Rich people will use FS more as it is better to be safe than sorry, a wealth protection insurance - hey, go buy a huge annuity, its much better.

What about those lucky bastards born with a golden spoon and never having to raise a finger in their life, and they are useless dim witted fools at the same time? Why are you not Li Ka Shing's son or daughter? There are many unanswerables in the world, but FS is definitely not the answer. Live your life as well as you can, take responsibility for your own actions, spend time to discover your spiritual side, explore religions, take ultimate care of your soul as best you can. I was moved to write on this because I read a FS guru's prediction for 2008: "... advisable to invest in a good burglar system, be careful when you carry cash ..." C'mon!!! I can also add: "don't fuck your best friend's wife" ... what's the difference??!! More from the guru: "... avoid herd mentality and stick to fundamentals ..." and may I add, your mother is probably a woman.