Friday, September 05, 2014

Gotta Love 'Em Goldman Bankers

Want to know how the top 2-3% looks at life .... how disdainfully ... (facepalm). Heard the following conversation snippets inside GS elevators.

#1: Some chick asked me what I would do with 10 million bucks. I told her I'd wonder where the rest of my money went.

#1: The fact that most people are too stupid to know how dumb they really are is the fabric holding our society together.

#1: Whenever someone asks how I'm doing, I usually just lie and say 'good', even though I'm doing a lot better than that.

#1: Checking your phone after someone else pulls out their phone is the yawn of our generation.

#1: ‘Do what you love' is great advice for making 30k a year.

#1: Some people assume I am quiet, boring, or shy, without ever realizing that I just don't like them.

#1: Poor people eat so much fast food you'd think their time was valuable.

 #1: The people with the loudest social media conscience conveniently forget that their iPhone is made by slave labor in China.

 #1: Work hard. Eat right. Exercise. Don't drink too much. And only buy what you can afford. It's not rocket science.

 "Money can't buy happiness but it solves 95% of the problems that make you unhappy."

 #1: Dinner with my wife’s friends is such a chore. It’s impossible to remember which ones she secretly hates.

 [At the gym] #1: What machine should I use to impress the girls? #2: The ATM.

 #1: Most celebrities barely have high school diplomas so who gives a shit what they think on substantive issues.

 “Hot girls will never know if they are actually interesting or not."

 #1: Only idiots get bored when we've all got handheld devices containing infinite knowledge at our fingertips.

 #1: I start every cell conversation with 'my phone's about to die' so they don't waste my time.
 Fox News panic over Ebola. 100% of scientists say not to. 99% of scientists panic over climate change. Fox News says not to.

 #1: The NSA is the only branch of the government that actually listens to people.

 #1: Starbucks needs a separate line for people who have their shit together.

 #1: I don't have an iPhone case. I'm not irresponsible or poor.

 #1: The grass is greener on the other side because it's fertilized with bullshit.

 #1: The new standard of cool is hanging out with friends and not ever looking at a phone.

 #1: Don't apologize for being late with a Starbucks latte in your hand.

 #1: You shouldn't retire until your money starts making more money than you made in your best year.

 #1: I love how politicians complain about tax loopholes as if they didn’t write the laws.

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