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Confucius Says ...



I guess in some other parts of the world we have Irish jokes, when in actual fact the Irish were being made fun of not because they were "not-as-smart" but because most of them were learned bookworms. In our part of the world, we have our own Confucius sayings, making fun of the guy with seemingly wise sayings. The jokes are popular because they always had the feel of a Chinaman with limited English trying to say some God-given-truth.



Confucius says:

Better to be pissed off than pissed on.

Man with one chopstick go hungry very fast.

Man who fights wife all day gets no piece at night.

Man who run in front of car get tired.

Man who run behind car get exhausted.

Man who drop watch in toilet have shitty time.

Man with one hand in pocket not necessarily playing with change.

Man with one hand in pocket feel cocky all day.

Man go to bed with hard problem wake up with solution in hand.

Panties not best thing on earth but next to it.

Man who masturbates only screwing himself.

Man who masturbates come in handy.

Crowded elevator always smell different to midget.

No difference between man and mouse - both end in pussy.

Those who quote me are fools.

Confucius say too damn much.


and my favourite ... which can be applied to any politician or personality you do not like ... right now people in HK is likening the following saying to Donald Tsang:

Confucius Say…


confusious-say

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