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The Two Most Debilitating "Neuro-Programming" In A Person

I cannot think of a better term because I am no expert. So I chose "neurological-programming". Why I chose to post on this is a long held opinion of mine on the two main "thought programming" issues affecting most people, to the extent that it limits their ability to fully self-actualise, be the great and wonderful person that they can be. None of these are scientifically proven or back tested but I am sure it resides in us in some manner or form. If we are able to negate and rationalise away them properly, we have a better chance to succeed as a person in all aspects.


The first is fate. In particular if a person is aligned closely with most religion, fate is a concept that seeps into our conciousness. I am not saying that there is no such thing as fate. The bad thing about fate is our resignation to fate. In Malay, there is a powerful word, yet debilitating so, its called "rezeki". In Islam its got a wonderful higher meaning, God's Providence. That is all well and good. It gets negative when we use the word fate/rezeki to explain our dire circumstances or under achievement as a person. 


If there is such a thing called fate, and all things are resigned to our fate, then we might as well close shop and do nothing. Some even get into the self defeating attitude that it is not holy or no use to fight against fate. I think if you are religious, they would all teach us to be the best person we can be, not one resigned to fate. 


When bad things or not so pleasant things happen to us, it is how we react and behave to those dire situations that maketh a person. I do not believe any God in any religion is there to condemn us to the worst atrocities and situations deliberately to put us there forever. It is there to test our resolve, to re-measure our worth as a person, to hone and refine our determination to be a better person all the time.


There is a big difference in accepting and appreciating your situation, and acknowledging your situation and trying to make it better. Don't wallow, don't get overly indulgent in self-pity.


The second most debilitating "neurological programming" issue is the thought that "I hope nobody finds out how average I am". Even when we secure good, well paying positions, deep inside we sometimes tell ourselves that we are not worthy, that we are really not that good at all. 


This does not affect just careers but relationships as well. Too many people have that deep seated apprehension and it affects and cloud the way they avail themselves to the rest of the world. In some cases, it can be so debilitating that they do not think they are deserving of the care, love and attention of another. 


The often quoted phrase, "love yourself first so that you can love others" has been diluted thanks to over repetition. The negative reel playing in our minds every now and then causes us to doubt ourselves over and over again. When something good happens, you dare not take it up because you fear that its all going to blow up later when they discover that you are just "average".


Its not a matter of intellect, we deserve to be as best the person we are just because ... we are. Life is too short to make a mess of it. Live well, live strong .... bloom where you are planted. 



Comments

walla said…
Nature provides compensations. The physically blind end up with more acute hearing. Light photons are replaced by sound waves. And if blind and deaf, touch becomes more sensitive.

There is a yearning to survive. What makes life more than survival should be progress which increases options and choices.

The physical progress outwards is made by the mental and spirited progress inwards. Ideas and insights move the internal combustion engine that drives the locomotive of economic progress.

The locomotive moves on a track. The track is laid by hand using natural resources like iron, wood and stones. One man doing it will take forever. Many coming together to lend helping hands makes the task easier and benefits accessible to more faster.

The natural force to survive that leads to the inner awakening of progress that creates the locomotion of progress ends in the train station of mutual help and concern. We don't live in isolation, let alone make any progress without direct and indirect support by others.

Within such a framework, personal fate and individual ego are just transient subscripts in the equation of life, itself short.

What remains true time and again is that for every easy success in physical progress, a graveyard of dashed hopes, broken dreams and wasted effort lies behind the moldy half-broken wall. For every athlete's gold today, years of self-discipline, personal sacrifice and back-breaking effort yesteryear. For every smile, a river of tears. For every post, mystifying, long-winded comments. For every..... Indeed, failure is the only option.

Life is like your Bloomberg terminal or Reuters news feed. The stream that is constant and yet ever-changing. One moment good tidings; the next, neuro-muscular dysfunction.

It must be fate that:

http://is.gd/gXvOqp

resonates here as well. Hopefully,a certified safer link.
Khairul Hazwan said…
WTH hell u say , Wella?
GT Koh said…
I am a free thinker but yet I strongly believe in fate. Options or choices are merely illusion. It is our delusion of control which in fact we are not.
We are born without the right to choose our genetic makeup and the enviroment that is going to interact with our genes. And, what you think you are, actually a product of nature. Your decision on your choices is merely what you have "learned" which the learning process you have no control or option to choose.
If there is such a thing called fate, and all things are resigned to our fate, then we might as well close shop and do nothing. Some even get into the self defeating attitude that it is not holy or no use to fight against fate. I think if you are religious, they would all teach us to be the best person we can be, not one resigned to fate.
Even you believe in fate, not necessary you will resign to fate. "You are fated not to resign or resign to fate"

Unless one day, you can choose you own genetic make up, your enviroment and the physical law of nature such as speed of light, gravity, atomic decay then you can claim that you have a choice and everything is not fated. Until then, you can say you are playing God...
Salvatore_Dali said…
GT Koh,

What you are saying is that our make up in genes n the environment we grew up in determines our fate. Even how we rect to adverse situations is due to the inherent make up of that person.

Put another way, can a good parent change the course of your life. Can a life changing guru change your life through getting you to see things in a differing way? Can someone who mentors you well change the course of your career.

Is it predetermined from birth that you will get a Phd? Why, its certainly not just genes. Just as the make up of a person is important, so too are the people that influence him/her. If you can be influenced one way or another, then genetic makeup is not so "important" in governing the path you take. Genetics may be able to tell you the likelihood of a person taking maybe 20 out of 100 available options ... the influence of others and the environment may cause that person to consider another 10 options.

In a very small way, my posting may/or may not affect one single person positively. You can say he may be influenced by my writing because of my genetic make up. What if I did not write? What if he did not see the posting. The collusion and collision of events, things we cannot fathom, we call fate.

The fate which I am against is "predestination", its a defeatist attitude.

I gather your points and you have a good argument there. I guess where you draw the line in random events besides genetic makeup. To that end, we should always try to "positively influence" our fellow man, is that fate, I don't know know, the collusion and collision of events can cause wonderful things to happen.
lai said…
For this article alone, u have proven your blog is above the rest.

Btw, pj area just open a new makan place serving the best Ipoh food. U want??
GT Koh said…
Hi Dali,

I am sorry that I don't have the time to put on my thinking cap to reply you in such a philosphical topic.
Put another way, can a good parent change the course of your life. Can a life changing guru change your life through getting you to see things in a differing way? Can someone who mentors you well change the course of your career.
Firstly, you have no choice in choosing your parents. Your parents are predetermined. Good or bad, you have to accept it. Life-changing guru, meeting one is by chance or choice or predetermined?

Is it predetermined from birth that you will get a Phd? Why, its certainly not just genes. Just as the make up of a person is important, so too are the people that influence him/her. If you can be influenced one way or another, then genetic makeup is not so "important" in governing the path you take. Genetics may be able to tell you the likelihood of a person taking maybe 20 out of 100 available options ... the influence of others and the environment may cause that person to consider another 10 options.
Secondly, if you are born with Down syndrome or other genetic defects, you are "determined" not to get a PhD. Of course, if you carry a lethal gene, you won't survive long enough to get a PhD. Agreed with the last statement but the influence of others and enviroment are by choice, or "predetermined".

Dali, I hope you don't take it personal. Just for the sake of discussion. I try to not believe in fate or predestination; I try to believe that I have a choice in my path. But at the end of the day, you know that your choice is influenced by your previous "conditioning" that you have no control over it.

Is it predetermined that I will leave a comment in your blog? Is it my own choice or mere fate? Or is it by chance or random event?

Dali, would you take the blue pill or the red pill?

Fate for thought...

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