Facebook Makes Me Mad Sometimes (Updated)


Posted this back in 2011. Well, its been nearly 2 years since my Facebook rants ... and plenty of changes have passed then ...  I think the users have more than tripled or more ... and my FB friends have surged to just over 100, still manageable ... but the inherent silliness still prevails.






I can appreciate the wonders of Facebooking, to keep in touch and to share, in a manner that is more intimate and profound than say just by emails.

After sitting at a computer typing all day, the last thing I want to do when I get home is sit in front of another computer so that I can read the fascinating facts and fancies on "25 Random Things About Me" from 3 of my friends.

I also don't feel the need to constantly update an entire network of friends about the daily minutiae of my life. My life is to be lived, not to be updated. And the mf box "What's on your mind" ... I mean if I tell you what is really on mind mind, I would have no friends left??!! I mean, how to say "I have been thinking of screwing with the cleaning lady ten minutes ago"??!!

The silly mf strategy games they play ... so you have grown the world's largest cabbage, go and eat it yourself.... so you are looking for carrots and manure, fuck me silly if I am bothered to even care. My eyes have glazed over hundreds of time whenever I open my Facebook. Soon, I will be doing a Linda Blair, my eyeballs will make a 360 degrees revolution from too much eyes rolling.


(Coffee Bean sure did not have locals at management level when they issue these cups in Malaysia and Singapore ... does not quite have the same meaning)

Then, there are the friends who will update you at least 5 times a day, as if sooo many people are so interested in the most mundane aspects of your lives. I mean, I seriously get postings such as: "... sigh, just wondering about nothing ..." I mean, seriously, go fuck yourself silly, even your own mum would be cursing under her breath. Stop the narcissist in you, no more "look at me, look at me...".

Don't just simply whack without offering solutions, I always say. Well, I hope Facebook will make all users to flag all their comments to 5 categories: if you are making a senseless comment that only your wildest fan or stalker will enjoy hearing, flag that as "1"; if its about something that is mildly important or things you found funny from some obscure site, then click "2"; if its and opinion that some may enjoy, then click "3"; if its a major development in your personal life or career, click "4"; if its absolutely must be viewed by all your friends, then click "5". Your friends , like me, who have a low tolerance of everything and anything, will possibly allow comments and updates that are "4" or "5" to filter to my account.


If by chance you have a nonsensical update and you put that as a "4", I guarantee you I will go and write a load of b.s. on your fucking wall for not being able to decipher what is "value add commentary / opinion" and what is crap.

For now, I cannot go and tell all my friends that they are idiots for writing what they wrote cause its so prevalent. Till today, after nearly one year, I still have less than 40 friends (now just over 100), and proud of it.

I won't be wasting time 'poking' cyber friends. Pick up the phone/mobile and call to ask them out for lunch or dinner, poke here poke there for fucks!!??

People make friends like they are collecting sand, ... "today I made another 4 friends", ... well, fuck me, I did not make four new friends the whole of last month in real life. It waters down the concept of who is a friend, and what a friend is to you. That definition is getting shallower by the day with the advent of the internet.

I guess my plea to my friends is to try and make Facebook work for us, to bring us closer together, not to agitate and piss the shit out of others, and waste our time and resources over inane stuff. Use Facebook as a tool, if you let Facebook take over your life, then you are the tool. Enjoy and maintain relations with family, friends and relatives ... in person as much as you can.


 THIS IS WHAT I REALLY WANT ON MY FACEBOOK PAGE



Comments

Simone May Seon said…
Well said, Mr. Dali. I truly agree with you. If I were a man I would have put it in the same way as you did but my gender prevents me from doing so. FB does promote narcissism with everyone so preoccupied with posting photos of themselves. Also, the concept of friends seems to have lost its true meaning with emphasis on quantity more than quality.
Simone May Seon said…
Well said, Mr. Dali. I truly agree with you. If I were a man I would have put it in the same way as you did but my gender prevents me from doing so. FB does promote narcissism with everyone so preoccupied with posting photos of themselves. Also, the concept of friends seems to have lost its true meaning with emphasis on quantity more than quality.
Andrew Chua said…
Can we have some pictures of your cleaning lady in your next post?
MP said…
wow your cleaning lady must be quite a looker

you think facebookers are nuts? have a look at twitter LOL go toilet also must tell the whole world LOL
CP said…
Haha, good one. I will like to write more about this FB. LOL

TEH
K H said…
Oft times i have wondered why there are so many "weird", needy and nothing-better-to-do people out there, craving for attention, desperately wanting to be liked or wanna sound/act cool.

Got many invites for facebook, google+, Hi5, foursquares and what not but I am not interested in signing up for any of these. Seen too much time-wasting activities among my colleagues.
MP said…
i gave up on it a long time ago. such a waste of time & mindspace
JLo said…
"It waters down the concept of who is a friend, and what a friend is to you. That definition is getting shallower by the day with the advent of the internet"

hear hear Dali.
Andrew said…
Try Google Plus Dali.
Mr Bojangles said…
See a recent issue of the Economist which cites a study showing that the more someone uses Facebook, the less satisfied he is with life.

Investigations have found that using Facebook is associated with jealousy, social tension, isolation and depression.

So yes, I feel completely happy and justified when I tell people that I have no FB account.