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Possibly The Funniest Malaysian Posting In 2007

There had been some hoo-hah over the inclusion of some common but dubious "sayings" in the official Malay dictionary. The blogger linked below posting possibly the funniest blog for 2007... even this early. For those linguistically-challanged in the Malay language, I will attempt to translate bits of it (blue).

http://dewan-karut.blogspot.com/

Mabuk Keling (dalam bahasa perancis: Indien ivre) (in French...)

Asal-usul: Ahli-ahli sejarah percaya bahawa fenomena 'mabuk keling' ini terjadi semenjak lahirnya todi dan Samy Vellu. Origin: Historians believed that the phenomena of mabuk keling came about with the invention of toddy and existence of Samy Vellu.

Maksud: Orang mabuk yang berperangai seperti bahlul+beruk+bangsat; sedangkan hanya minum segelas dua air haram. Perhatian: Adalah dinasihatkan supaya berhati-hati ketika menggunakan perkataan ini. Perkataan ini cukup sensitif sehingga boleh menyebabkan botol dibaling ke arah kepala awak oleh keling yang sudah mabuk keling. Meaning: Drunkards acting like an asshole on just a couple of drinks (usually illegal concoctions involving coconut juice). One needs to be careful when using the phrase as it could result in bottle being thrown towards your direction by the usual suspects.

Contoh Ayat: OI KECOH LA LU! LU MINUM... ORANG MINUM JUGAK... JANGANLAH BUAT MACAM MABUK KELING. Ni baru kena segelas je, dah nak pecah-pecah botol la...bukak baju lah...kang kena lagi tiga gelas macam mana pulak hah? NAk rogol lipas pulak? kimak betui... Usage In A Sentence: Go fuck yourself, drink just a bit and you make like mabuk keling. Just one glass and you want to break the bottle ... tear open your shirt ... what will happen if you had three glasses? Would you be trying to rape the cockcroach already??!!

Janji Melayu (dalam bahasa jerman: Versprechung des Malaiianers) (in German ...)

Asal Usul: Tiada siapa pun dapat mengenalpasti sejarah kewujudannya. Sebilangan pakar bahasa mendakwa ia mula digunakan sejak zaman kesultanan melayu melaka. Tetapi lebih ramai berpendapat 'Janji Melayu' lahir dihari kerajaan memperkenalkan Dasar Ekonomi Baru*. Origin: No one is certain as to its origination. Some experts figured that the phrase was first used during the historical Malaccan-Malay sultanate period. However more believe that the phrase was introduced during the New Economic Policy.

Maksud: Janji tidak menepati janji. Ini terutamanya berkaitan janji waktu masa. Perhatian: Penggunaan hanya terhad kepada kaum Melayu saja. Meaning: Promises that were never kept. This is particularly in reference to time appointments.

Contoh Ayat: *Eh Pak Seman, aku sebagai anak muda ini malulah dengan kerajaan kita nie. Kan diorang kata nak memansuhkan Dasar Ekonomi Baru apabila jumlah ekuiti Bumiputera kita sudah mencecah 30%? Ni hah, sekarang laporan ASLI dah pun konfirm bumiputera kita sudah sampai paras 45%! Kenapa tiada tindakan diambil? Sampai bila kita nak dicemuh dengan janji melayu kita? Usage In A Sentence: Hey Uncle Smith, as the younger generation I am awfully ashamed of our government. Didn't we say that the NEP will be abolished when our Bumi equity reaches 30%? Why do we keep openly flout our promises with our janji Melayu attitudes.

Cina Jinjang (dalam bahasa itali: cinese del jinjang) (in Italian ...)

Asal Usul: Semenjak pekan Jinjang dibuka berpuluh tahun dahulu. Tetapi hanya menjadi terkenal setelah cerita 'Young & Dangerous' ditayangkan. Juga dikenali dengan nama 'Sindrom Ho Nam'. Origin: Since the establishment of the town of Jinjang decades ago, but the phrase wa smade famous after the movie Young & Dangerous was made. Also known as the Ho Nam Syndrome, named after the lead gangster character.

Maksud: Cina jenis ON habis, yang hidup di dunia mereka sendiri (iaitu cukup distintif jika dibandingkan dengan cina lain). Meaning: A Chinese person who is always ON to the max, living in his own world (always different & distinctive compared to the rest of the Chinese population).

Perhatian: Anda perlu berhati-hati dengan pertuturan mengenai cina jinjang sekiranya anda mengesan cina-cina berciri sebegini berdekatan anda: Beware: You need to be careful should you notice the following traces/traits of Cina Jinjang around you.

Rambut berwarna-warni, dan langsung tidak kena dengan kepala hotak mereka. Multi coloured hairstyle, which totally clashes with the natural skin tone of his head.

Stail fesyen angkasa lepas. Banyak menggunakan fabrik metalik, yang menyilau mata. Space age fashion style. Uses metallic fabrics a lot, those which can cause temporary blindness.

Gabungan fesyen yang teramat SALAH i.e. Tali pinggang putih, seluar jeans hijau, baju kemeja merah dan kasut kuning. Absolutely no fashion coordination sense, for example, whilte coloured belt with green coloured jeans and yellow shoes.

Kereta yang dipandu sudah modify habis. Ekzos lantang; bodykit Evo3 pada kereta Wira; lowered sehingga semut pun tak boleh lepas bawah kereta. Always driving cars that have been modified. Excessively huge and loud exhaust; placing an Evo3 bodykit onto a Proton Wira; car lowered until an ant also cannot pass underneath the car.

Suka menurun tingkap kereta, menghisap rokok sambil mem-blast-kan lagu fengtau supaya satu kampung boleh dengar. Likes to have car windows wound down while smoking, and blasting dance-ecstacy-music so loud that the whole village could hear.

Tiu Nia Ma Ke Chau Hai, dan perkataan-perkataan seangkatan sering dilafazkan
dan lain-lain ciri yang tidak lazim terdapat pada orang cina. Uses choice phrases such as TNMCH and the like, repeatedly in beginning a conversation, as a punctuation mark, or just to mark the end of a sentence. (creative license here)... their favourite haunts include Sungei Wang Plaza, Cheras Leisure Mall and Berjaya Times Square.

Contoh Ayat: Eh mata hang tu jaga-jaga sikit. Kau jangan jeling-jeling kat bebudak sana... pasal diorang semua cina jinjang... silap langkah, ada tengkuk korang yang patah. Usage In A Sentence: Just watch where you are looking. Don't stare at those boys there ... looks like Cina Jinjang..

Comments

Ramon said…
We cannot said all people from Jinjang are like that.

Am I right?

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