Friday, December 07, 2012

Great Business Stories / Lessons / Jokes

The following will be great fodder for pub talk among friends. Many have been used at motivational classes and seminars as they provide good lessons in character and business.



An old blind man was sitting on a busy street corner in the rush-hour begging for money. On a cardboard sign, next to an empty tin cup, he had written: 'Blind - Please help'.
No-one was giving him any money. A young advertising writer walked past and saw the blind man with his sign and empty cup, and also saw the many people passing by completely unmoved, let alone stopping to give money. The advertising writer took a thick marker-pen from her pocket, turned the cardboard sheet back-to-front, and re-wrote the sign, then went on her way.
Immediately, people began putting money into the tin cup.
After a while, when the cup was overflowing, the blind man asked a stranger to tell him what the sign now said.
"It says," said the stranger, " 'It's a beautiful day. You can see it. I cannot.' "
Is this a lesson on wonders of advertising, which many seem to proclaim. No ... its using words properly. You can convey from your standpoint, or better still convey in a way that ALLOWS people to empathise. Nothing has changed, just the way people look at the message. The power of words used correctly, not to deceive but to enlighten.

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?'
 The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.' So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up."
Great business story, don't fuck around unless you can afford to. Get there first.

Many years ago two salesmen were sent by a British shoe manufacturer to Africa to investigate and report back on market potential.
The first salesman reported back, "There is no potential here - nobody wears shoes."
The second salesman reported back, "There is massive potential here - nobody wears shoes."
This simple short story provides one of the best examples of how a single situation may be viewed in two quite different ways - negatively or positively.
We could explain this also in terms of seeing a situation's problems and disadvantages, instead of its opportunities and benefits.

The importance of the story cannot be under estimated. Always surround yourself with energetic positive people. Depressed or pessimistic ones never achieve anything, they just find reasons to give up or resigned to fate.

A heart surgeon took his car to his local garage for a regular service, where he usually exchanged a little friendly banter with the owner, a skilled but not especially wealthy mechanic.
"So tell me," says the mechanic, "I've been wondering about what we both do for a living, and how much more you get paid than me.."
"Yes?.." says the surgeon.
"Well look at this," says the mechanic, as he worked on a big complicated engine, "I check how it's running, open it up, fix the valves, and put it all back together so it works good as new.. We basically do the same job don't we? And yet you are paid ten times what I am - how do you explain that?"
The surgeon thought for a moment, and smiling gently, replied,"Try it with the engine running.."
I still think medical specialists charge way too much for what they do, but there is an element of truth in the story, know what you are worth. If what you can do, can also be done by a lot of people, you better be great at it to make good money. If what you can do, only a handful can emulate, then you are on your way to premium monetary rewards. Always seek to do what very few people can do well.

Two bulls, one young and full of enthusiasm, and the other older and wiser, see a herd of cows. The young bull says, "Let's charge down this hillside and have our wicked way with a couple of those cows."
The old bull replies, "No, how about we stroll gently down this hillside and have our wicked way with them all."
Always strategise, instead of rushing in head first. There is always a better way that comes from wisdom i.e. experience from making enough mistakes in the first place.

A Sikh, a Muslim, an Englishman, an Irishman, a Scotsman, a Welshman, a Jew, a Buddhist and a Hindu go into a pub.
The barman looks up and says, "Is this some kind of a joke?"
This is so funny because the premise is already a huge joke. Picking out the obvious is already damn funny. Too often we see presentations or business proposals that have glaring holes and gaps, and yet no one dares to state the obvious. Just say it, "this looks like shit". This will force the other side to defend or explain why it is not shit. When you push, you'd be surprised how much better everyone gets.


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ronnie said...

Dear Dali,

What is your view on the hoax by the two idiot DJs which allegedly caused the nurse to commit suicide?

After all, if a person knowingly drives a car with faulty brakes and kills someone on the road, the driver can be charged with negligent manslaughter.